Above the Treeline (Feat. Courtney Snodgrass)

from by Hunter Dumped Us Here

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I saw you the other day, I saw you almost fall because your left leg wanted to give out
I saw your left arm stop working the way that it used to about a year ago
Your body was deteriorating
I never thought that I could miss someone as badly as I did in the month after the surgery that was supposed to help you
But it ruined you
The coma left you motionless and quiet and all I could do was cry
The tube that helped you breathe made me want to gag
You never liked your feet covered by the sheet and every time I came to visit you, the nurses had covered them up
So I fixed them for you
I wish I could fix you and make you better again
And I caught myself several times before I referred to you in a past tense and remembered that you were still alive
But only because of the ventilator

I remember hearing the bell after winning the fight
White walls of a busy hospital held me in its arms, but I most missed your skinny, frail,
white arms that hugged me with the last of your strength
I was only a little boy and I couldn’t begin to understand why your hair kept falling out and you
didn’t look like everyone else’s mom
Many trips to the hospital and dad behind the wheel and you staring out the window while I stared at you
I remembered the chemicals entering your body and you throwing them up
Finally your last dose of chemo came and soon your cancer was gone, and I remember the last time we went to the hospital and the woman in the white lab coat said we wouldn’t have to come back for a long time
After fighting so hard and getting knocked down and getting back up again, you’d won
We honored the pink breast cancer ribbon but fifteen years later and Dad insisted talking to my wife and I and I learned then that Mom would lose her hair once more and lose her strength and wouldn’t be able to hold me tight like she used to
Mom had to be a fighter again, I had to be a fighter again
We had to fight again
Mom was a survivor once and she would fight again
Cancer is a merciless war but we would win again

Your baby shower was pink, everything was pink
The balloons, the plates, the tablecloth, the wrapping paper
You were born not long after your celebration and the nurses gave you a pink blanket and hat
You were tiny but you fit perfectly in everyone’s arms
How someone could ever shake you so hard is something I would never be able to understand
The seizures started and we rushed you to the emergency room
White walls of a hospital held me when I could barely look at you any longer
Tubes to help you breathe do not belong in a baby who’s barely begun to live
18 months old and your life had already ended
The angels came to get you

I’m sorry I didn’t believe you when you thought you were having a stroke
I have more respect for hypochondriacs now
I’m sorry you drove yourself to the hospital and sat in the emergency room by yourself
I’m sorry I’m confessing to you as you lay motionless in an uncomfortable bed and live from a machine that breathes for you
I don’t know if you can hear me
I’m sorry I don’t know the answer for holding your life in my hands and that it’s all getting heavy
Because my strength isn’t as strong as it once was
I’m sorry the plug is what’s keeping us at length
I’m sorry I was never prepared for the doctors to give you a medicine that pushed you into this coma
The white hospital walls hold me as I cry
How was I to know I’d ever be sitting beside your bed with my head on your chest, my hands holding yours
Remembering how when I was a little girl you’d rock me to sleep
I’m not ready to rock you to sleep, mom

Never thought I’d know what it feels like to be so much bigger, so much taller than the trees
They call me a giant here and I’m not ready to be one, no I’m not
They call me a giant now and I’m not ready to be one, I’m not ready, no I’m not ready, no I’m not
They call me a giant now and I’m not ready to be one
Just one thing before you die, please realize you’ve changed my life


from I Understand, released June 22, 2016



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Hunter Dumped Us Here Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Heavy and emotional indie rock from Iowa. Get into it.

I Understand - debut full-length available June 2016.

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